


hit song

by haetnimie



Series: love & letter: i have something to say [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Romance, lapslock, that sort of thing, trainee-to-idol soonyoung and regular student jihoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 09:37:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18258656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haetnimie/pseuds/haetnimie
Summary: soonyoung is jihoon's friend who just debuted as an idol. now, jihoon feels a little lonely.(side a)





	hit song

“you decided to get a little bold, didn’t you?”

jihoon sips a carton of milk in his usual nonchalant manner, letting the breeze tussle the hair he dyed brown a couple of days before the start of the school year. having never let a single drop of hair dye touch his scalp throughout his nineteen years of life, this sudden change turns the heads of many of his classmates, much to his dismay. he just wanted to see what he’d look like. it’s not that bad.

“you could say that.” jihoon leans back on the railing that separates the rooftop from the edge of the school building that brandishes a rather big drop if someone goes overboard. he’s never tested it, though. his friend a couple of times, only for the thrill. he pulls him back before anything happens. “it’s our last year of high school, after all.”

“wah, look at our _jihoonie_ acting so cool!” soonyoung punches jihoon’s arm, and the shorter boy pouts, not just at the sudden attack, but at the nickname his friend hasn’t gotten rid of. well, he guesses if it’s _soonyoung_ , it isn’t so bad. he’ll let it slide for now, or maybe the rest of the year. “you’re sure living up to the busan manly man trope, aren’t you?”

“i’m just being me,” jihoon says cooly, finishing off his milk and turning the carton in his hands. “you’re energetic for someone who’s gotten, like, three hours of sleep. how are you even awake right now? it’s eight in the morning.”

“determination!” when soonyoung points a finger to the sky, jihoon scoffs, though he finds it just a bit endearing. “but also because i _have_ to. it’s our first day of our final year here. i couldn’t miss it for the world!”

“did you really drag me up here to tell me that?” jihoon yawns, wishing now that he had coffee. anything with caffeine, really. it’s a bit chilly on the rooftop, and jihoon pulls the sleeves of his sweater over his hands, giving him some accidental sweater paws. “it’s _cold_.”

“yeah, yeah, i know you don’t like to do unnecessary things, but what if i said i just wanted to hang out with my best friend?” when jihoon gives him a skeptical look, soonyoung laughs. “i’m _serious_. you’re my best friend.”

“i know that, but that’s not the reason why, though i’m flattered.”

“mhm, you’re right.” soonyoung pockets his hands, looking up at the sky with a soft smile on his face. jihoon takes a mental image of the soonyoung next to him, just because. (read: there’s definitely a reason, but he’s too stubborn to admit it.) “my company’s talking about debut plans.”

jihoon blinks once, twice, three times — and then he watches soonyoung’s smile crack into an even bigger one, the gummy smile he’s come to know, and that’s when he can’t mask the surprise and thrill in his voice when he bombards his friend with questions. “wait, seriously? debut plans? are you going to debut soon? what’s the date? did you get a chance to hear your debut song yet? is it going to be a single or an album or…?”

“as usual, you’re my best friend _and_ my biggest fan.” soonyoung turns to look at jihoon now, laughing a bit at jihoon’s wide eyes and open mouth. to see him this animated is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and he doesn’t want to miss it. “it’s just _talks_ for now. nothing’s settled yet. for now, all i can do is keep training harder knowing that my opportunity is soon!”

“that’s…soonyoung, that’s amazing.” jihoon finally regains his composure, clearing his throat and straightening his back, crossing his arms and going back to the serious expression on his face. “i’m happy for you, i really am. you’re…you’re going to be a _great_ idol when you debut.”

“the other trainees i’ve been with — i’ve told you about them, haven’t i? if it really happens, we’ll be the idol group we’ve always wanted to be.”

now soonyoung’s smile shines with the most genuine emotions, of excitement and nervousness and hope and passion. it’s everything the boy’s been hoping for since he became a trainee three years ago, a step closer to the dream he’s had since he was seven. and jihoon’s watched his friend from childhood realize and reach for this dream — it could finally be here. it _is_ here. it’s within reach.

the bell rings, and soonyoung jumps. “shit, we’re going to be late to class! jihoonie, let’s go!”

before jihoon could say anything, soonyoung grabs his hand and whisks him away, running as quickly as their feet could take them to their homeroom class.

it was their last year of high school.

soonyoung might debut soon.

their futures are uncertain, but it hinges on their passion.

and jihoon wants to tell soonyoung that he loves him.

* * *

jihoon is a member of the school’s band, his skills ranging from clarinet to guitar to the drums, as well as many things in between. he’d play whatever they needed to; he was the band’s all-rounder. when soonyoung runs off to go practice the minute the last bell rings, jihoon goes to this empty classroom where four other people make up ‘oh my!’.

“hyung, did you really get to homeroom late today?” seokmin asks when jihoon pokes his head into the classroom, and when jihoon just glares, he gives out his hearty laugh. “seriously, you and soonyoung! you need to keep better track of time!”

“oh, let them be,” joshua says from behind, tuning his guitar for today’s session. “they were probably making out or something. the usual.”

“ _hey_! we were _not_ , and it’s _not_ the usual!” jihoon feels his face get hot, and his ears probably turned a bright red. “we’re _friends_. seriously, how long are you going to believing… _that_?”

“until we speak it into existence!” jeonghan chimes up from checking on his keyboard. “seriously, you don’t think everyone and their _teacher_ doesn’t realize how you two are all lovey-dovey? how you’re _all_ over each other?”

“…that’s not true. soonyoung’s just a touchy person in general.”

“with _you_.”

“so are we going to practice or not? because i’d love to leave right now.” jihoon crosses his arms with a huff, though he sits down at his place on the drums, already keeping an eye out for his drumsticks.

“of course hyung won’t leave,” seungkwan teases, sitting on a desk and swinging his feet. “not yet, at least! we still have a year to go!”

“my dongsaeng will be without me once i graduate…” jeonghan fake-sniffs, wiping away a fake tear. “how unfortunate. hey, what if i never graduate and stay here forever? take care of my dongsaeng for the rest of their high school lives?”

“no way. i want you to leave.”

“so i’ve already lost a dongsaeng today…”

‘oh my!’ gets frequently sidetracked, to say the least.

* * *

jihoon’s always been around music, ever since his english teacher taught him the notes to ‘hot cross buns’ instead of how sentences should be structured. it isn’t a surprise that when he goes to talk to his homeroom teacher about his future plans after high school, ‘music producer’ is on the top of his list, and everything else is just empty. he’s in seoul, after all, a city full of opportunities. all he has to do is work his way up — or so he plans. he’s aware of the difficulties, but he’ll be flexible if it means he can do what likes to do, to make music for other people to enjoy.

“is this really it?” his teachers asks, waving jihoon’s ‘career plans’ paper in his hand. “you’re a smart kid, jihoon. you could do anything you want. you have a variety of options out there.”

“yeah, it’s what i want.”

“hm.” the teacher is silent for a minute, looking over jihoon’s practically-empty form once more. then he puts it down, folds his hands in front of him, and talks to his student in a serious tone. “have you ever made music before? i mean, i know you’re in a band, but don’t you just do covers?”

“yeah, we do covers,” jihoon nods. “but i’ve also been making music on the side. it’s been a hobby for a while, but it’s something i like. i think i like it more than anything else i could possibly do.”

“i see.” the teacher pauses again, trying to piece together his usually-quiet student. “i’m not saying it’s impossible for you, but…has anyone else heard your music? have you uploaded it anywhere?”

“uh…” he has, in fact, under the nickname ‘woozi’. he’s never told anyone, though. not even soonyoung. he’s too embarrassed to say anything about it. he’d rather hide under the anonymity of ‘woozi’ for a bit, or…maybe for a while. maybe forever. his songs are _good_ , but to have someone he knows hear it…it’s a bit of a daunting idea.

“i’m in no way doubting your abilities to do this, but you get what i’m saying, right?”

_if you can’t show others your music, how do you expect your music to be heard?_

“yeah, i get it.”

* * *

soonyoung’s debut happens during the season where leaves change colors and adorn the roads with hues of red and yellow, on september 25th, to be exact. he and the three other trainees he’s been with — minghao, jun, and chan — were to debut under the group name ‘moonwalker’, like the flowers. they were a duller version of sunflowers, but they wanted to convey a passionate walk on the night sky, the twinkling of stars and beauty of meteor showers. those mystical yet fascinating occurrences of the night were what they wanted to be. a light in the darkness.

soonyoung’s stage name is ‘hoshi’, and it’s fitting with their group name, jihoon thinks. he thinks soonyoung is the brightest star of them all. he could spot soonyoung a mile away with the bright red hair he has now, but then again, he could spot soonyoung just about anywhere. that’s besides the point.

he goes to soonyoung’s dorm the night before he’s slated to have his debut showcase, bringing him and his roommate secret midnight snacks.

“seriously, you’re the best!” chan says, immediately opening a bag of potato chips and eating it.

“hey, don’t eat too much,” minghao scolds, but chan eats another handful, and so does jun. he just silently follows suit, though he eats just a little bit less.

“thanks for coming so late at night. i’m so nervous,” soonyoung says, shaking his arms and legs over and over again. “i’ll be missing school. you’re gonna be alright, jihoonie?”

“you act like i can’t function when you aren’t there.” jihoon pinches soonyoung’s cheek — soft, like a hamster. why couldn’t his stage name be ‘hamster’? “you’ve done all you could up to this point. all that’s left is for you to do your best tomorrow, and i know you can.”

“seriously, what would i be without you?” soonyoung sighs, looping his arm around jihoon’s shoulder.

jihoon’s heart skips a beat, and his shoulders start to heat up from soonyoung’s touch. thank god his group mates are kind enough to leave at this point, taking the snacks with them. he doesn’t shy away from it. he’ll let it be for now, only because soonyoung’s nerves are playing with him.

“i’m finally debuting…” soonyoung murmurs. he’s getting sleepy. jihoon is, too, but he’s pulled all-nighters before. “i’m debuting. i’m going to debut as an idol. i’m going to be _an idol_. jihoonie, i’m finally doing it. i’m becoming an idol.”

“mhm.”

“i get to sing and dance…i get to be on stage.”

“mhm.”

“i get to be like the idols i liked before.”

“mhm.”

“jihoonie, it’s happening.”

“it is.” jihoon finally unwraps soonyoung’s arm from him, which makes his whole body cold. but soonyoung’s drifting deep into sleep and sinking into the couch they were sitting on, and he should let him get as much sleep as possible before the big day. “go to sleep now, soonyoung. you’ll do great.”

“jihoonie…i…”

“hm?”

“…you…”

…what?

the space between those two words…was oddly suspicious, but now soonyoung’s _actually_ asleep, and he doesn’t have it in him to throttle him awake and ask. trying to fit in words that could possibly in between — no, he can’t get his hopes up like that. it feels weird to hope for _that_ word, and yet he yearns for it. ugh, he hates this game of tug-of-war that’s happening in his heart. no, no, forget about it, jihoon. just forget about it. it’s nothing.

he should go home, anyway.

* * *

during break, jihoon checks his phone, and a barrage of messages from soonyoung welcome him.

**_soonyoung_**  
JIHOONIEEEEE!!  
the showcase went well!!!  
the reporters said they really liked it….  
the mv is coming out at six today  
you’re going to watch it right? :)

 ** _jihoon  
_** of course i’m going to watch it.  
i wouldn’t miss it for the world.

there’s an empty seat in class today. but that’s okay. soonyoung’s becoming the idol he wanted to be. and jihoon…is just jihoon, who’s going to support him as best as he could.

but why does his heart suddenly feel so strained?

* * *

soonyoung doesn’t come for a few days. then he comes back for a day or two. then he doesn’t come back for a few days more. his school attendance is getting spotty.

“your grades won’t be in a good spot,” jihoon scolds him over the phone one day, when soonyoung’s at a broadcasting station. he could hear the commotion happening in the back, someone asking where minghao was, someone calling jun to get his makeup ready, chan saying he needs to go to the bathroom real quick. he wonders what soonyoung’s up to; he wants to keep rather short so that soonyoung can continue preparing for the music show, though he knows that when he hangs up, his chest will feel heavy.

“haha, i know, so tutor me and help me catch up, okay? you’ve always been the best at it. if it’s you, i’ll learn it in no time!”

“seriously? i guess there’s no choice, but you have to listen to everything i say.”

“yeah, of course i’ll pay attention! ah, i have to go. talk to you later, jihoonie!”

it’s the final week of promotions for his debut song, and they’ve been quite the hit. people at school keep talking about soonyoung. ‘someone here is an idol’, they’d say. ‘he just debuted, and he’s really good’, others would say. his classmates would look at jihoon as if they want to ask more about it, but his uninviting face says otherwise, and so they make no attempt to try and ask him something about it.

yeah, soonyoung’s busy. there’s no reason to be so down about it. he’s living his _dream_. he’s happy for him! he really is. he’s happy that his best friend is achieving his dreams, and he’s on to achieve greater things. it’s only up from here on out, he’s sure of it.

jihoon gets a test back — a near perfect score. he thinks back to his talk with his teacher.

what is jihoon going to do with _his_ future?

* * *

soonyoung’s back at school for a little over two months before he starts disappearing again, usually coming by in the morning to drop of his piles of late homework before dashing off. his company’s preparing for a comeback already, and soonyoung’s doing all he can to show his improvement over the span of their brief pause.

“i’m so excited!” soonyoung says in the now very, _very_ few moments that he and jihoon get to hang out. they’re eating dinner at a local ramen place after soonyoung _begs_ jihoon to come join him, though when he gets to the restaurant, jihoon doesn’t recognize soonyoung under the big trench coat, fedora, sunglasses, and face mask that he had on. it’s a cover, he says, just in case. he doesn’t want to be interrupted when he’s hanging out with jihoon, he says.

“i guess i’ll have to send you notes for classes again, huh?” jihoon sighs, slurping his noodles. “can you even read them? my handwriting’s not the best.”

“come on, i’m used to it!” soonyoung says in a rather loud voice. a few heads turn, and he lowers his fedora, now talking quieter — or as quiet as he’s going to get. “thank you, jihoon, really. i’m thankful that you’re taking notes and helping me catch up. i still want to graduate, after all!”

“no problem. that’s what friends are for.”

silence. why does the word ‘friend’ make it so awkward for them all of a sudden? it didn’t before.

“…yeah. yeah! don’t worry, i’ll make _sure_ we graduate together.” soonyoung pauses for a bit, focusing on his ramen before his eyes dart side to side, and then to jihoon at last, looking rather curious. “jihoon…i’ve been wanting to ask…”

“go ahead.”

“what are _you_ going to do after graduation?”

…oh.

he’s heard this question from his parents, his relatives, from the band. he usually shrugs and says something about college to appease them, even though that’s not what his form says. if he says ‘music producer’, they’d practically jump all over him, asking about music he’s made and if they could listen to it. no, he couldn’t possibly…that’s what ‘woozi’ is for, and ‘woozi’ gets good reviews from the comments and the amount of likes his songs has. ‘woozi’ is his safety net, his name to protect him from his (possibly) harshest critics.

they don’t need to know ‘woozi’ is lee jihoon.

“i…” he hesitates for a second before replying. “i’ll get into a college. probably business. take after my dad.”

“…i see.” soonyoung seems dissatisfied. jihoon raises an eyebrow, and when soonyoung sees this, he stays silent for a minute. he’s thinking about it, but he knows jihoon will take whatever he says. “that doesn’t seem like you, though.”

“how?”

“something’s just off, i guess.” soonyoung shrugs, and then there’s awkward silence again.

though they talk a bit more after that, there’s no denying that the question made things a little stiff. jihoon doesn’t like it. he doesn’t like it at all.

and he doesn’t like that _that_ awkward dinner was the last he sees of soonyoung for a while, at least in person.

soonyoung prepares for his comeback, misses school, performs on music shows, shows up on tv shows, and appears on radio broadcasts. his comeback is just as good. of course. it’s soonyoung.

as jihoon watches all of this from a screen, he can’t help but feel a little lonely. the place right next to him, where soonyoung usually was, is nothing but empty.

* * *

soonyoung promised jihoon that he’d be there the last school day before winter break, but when the bell rings for homeroom, soonyoung isn’t there.

foolishly, jihoon still waits. he waits, and waits, and waits. maybe he’s late. did he forget? he couldn’t forget. it was _soonyoung’s_ promise.

then he feels his phone buzz in his pocket, and he knows. he figures it out. or it’s more that he’s known, but he didn’t want to admit it, that soonyoung couldn’t make it because his schedule was packed and he couldn’t go to school today.

that’s fine. jihoon will just stay on the rooftop.

it’s the rooftop where they usually met up before school, because that was the only time soonyoung had to meet up with jihoon as a trainee. it’s the rooftop where they shared their thoughts and secrets, where jihoon would listen to soonyoung’s struggles and his frustration at where his training was going. it’s the rooftop that soonyoung looks absolutely ethereal on, when the morning sun peeks through the clouds and shines on him, as if it knows he’s going to be a star sharing the same sky one day. it’s the rooftop where jihoon felt that every moment with soonyoung was precious, felt himself enjoy soonyoung’s presence, felt himself miss soonyoung’s presence.

he couldn’t say those words out loud. no, it’s too embarrassing. but what _could_ he do…?

maybe he could write them down. maybe they could become lyrics. hm, he has a melody in his head. it could work out. one, two, three, and he’s humming the ideas in his head, snapping his fingers and trying to fit the words in. no, he needs to fix the wording a bit, but _those_ words are better. 

it wouldn’t be like his previous songs, but he’s not going to present it as ‘woozi’. this time, this song will be by ‘lee jihoon’.

* * *

he’s nervous, playing with the usb in his hand as he waits for soonyoung on the rooftop once again. winter break’s passed, the new year’s been welcomed, and soonyoung promised that he won’t ditch this time.

jihoon worked on this song all winter break, making sure it was nothing shy from _perfection_. countless nights were spent mixing and tweaking the components to it, and recording the vocals for it took many, many attempts. his voice was pretty much done for when he finally managed to get some semblance of a rough draft together. this song was his _baby_ , his emotions wrapped into what he does best — music.

this is what music is supposed to be, isn’t it? words and sounds that convey a certain emotion, better than just saying them out loud. that’s why he likes it so much. that’s why he likes working with music. that’s why he wants to work with music.

“jihoonie!” soonyoung waves, and he gives a small wave back. he’s here. _he’s here_. he looks a bit tired, and he feels bad that his friend had to wake up early when his promotion ended just the day before. he should be getting rest. he’ll make this quick.

“god, i missed this.” soonyoung leans on the railing, looking down to the bottom of the school building. “it’s so refreshing up here, don’t you think? feeling the breeze is waking me up!”

“soonyoung.”

jihoon pokes his friend with the usb, and his friend takes it in confusion, his head tilting to the side. there’s a silence that can’t be helped, an explanation missing. jihoon takes a deep breath. right. it’s now or never. the future is uncertain, but he can make strives to add in what he wants his future to be.

“i made a song.” those words alone shock soonyoung, but jihoon presses on. “actually, i’ve made a couple of songs before, but i haven’t really shown them to…that’s besides the point. i made this song, and it’s for you. i want you to listen to it — i mean, when you have time, that is. but it’s for you. uh. yeah.”

“you…made a song? jihoonie? really?”

jihoon can’t talk anymore. he just nods.

“then of course i’ll listen to it.” soonyoung smiles, and god, there’s a pit in jihoon’s stomach. he wonders if he can see that smile again after he listen to the song. he wonders if they can still talk and hang out with each other after he listens to the song.

but god, he’s in love with soonyoung, and he needs to tell him the only way he can — in the form of a song.

* * *

_the title is ‘hit song’_  
_i want the song to get popular just like the title_  
_watcha say, watcha doing?  
_ _just sing along with me._

 _this song is a pop song, this song is a pop song_  
_wherever i go, whoever i am  
_ _you will think of me_

 _i hope you listen to it seventeen times every day_  
_i hope that you know which song it is_  
_like when the cherry trees blossom and the spring breeze blows  
_ _this is for you_

 _please don’t compare this song_  
_to other songs that don’t have substance_  
_it might sound funny but you have to listen  
_ _you have to listen_

* * *

“so this is our last time meeting up on the rooftop, huh?”

“i guess it is.” jihoon holds the diploma in his hands tightly so that it doesn’t fly away in the spring breeze, looking around the rooftop and then to the scenery it offers beyond the railings. beyond blooming trees and roads are the skyscrapers and buildings of seoul, the seoul he’s come to appreciate.

“hey, your hair’s back to black!” soonyoung points out as he takes his spot next to jihoon, and he pats jihoon’s head without much pretense. “i bet you just got lazy to re-dye it.”

“shut up. maybe i did. what about it?”

“hm. what a shame.” soonyoung feigns a sad look for a second before returning to his smiling and warm expression, now sliding the hand that was on jihoon’s head into one of jihoon’s hands, intertwining his fingers with his. “you know, you looked _really_ cool with brown hair. like, _really_ cool. i was literally blown away. i was breathless! seriously, bring it back when you can, _mister producer_.”

“hey, ‘mister producer’ has a _name_ , thank you very much.”

“okay, _woozi_.” soonyoung says through his smile, and jihoon can’t help but give a huff. “seriously, you wrote all that stuff _before_? and i never found out ’til then? god, were we even best friends?”

“yes, and what are we now?”

“fair point.” soonyoung puts his head on jihoon’s shoulder. god, he was clingy, but jihoon doesn’t mind. he’ll let this slide. (he’ll _always_ let this slide.) “but they’re good. i’m glad my company thought so, too. you got to be the music producer you wanted to be right off the bat!”

“flattery won’t make me go easy on you when we’re recording,” jihoon says, letting the smallest hint of a smile show up on his face. “my songs require the utmost perfection, especially from you, _hoshi_.”

“aw, come on, call me soonyoungie.”

“hoshi.”

“ _soonyoungie_.”

“soonyoung.”

“close enough.” soonyoung sighs, tightening his grip around jihoon’s hand. “i’m excited, though. i really am. this album’s going to make it big, i know it! woozi’s big debut album, number one on all the charts! a perfect all-kill!”

“i don’t mind if it’s one step at a time, though. i want to gradually make music, so that i have a reason to keep making music.”

“god, that’s _so_ hot.”

“hey.”

“it’s true.” soonyoung is quiet for a bit, letting the spring breeze talk in his place. it’s a good kind of silence. it’s calming. “also, just so you know, i still listen to ‘hit song’ seventeen times a day.”

“eh?” jihoon jumps a bit in surprise, but it doesn’t bother soonyoung one bit, as he stays in place. “are you serious? you didn’t…have to take _that_ seriously, you know.”

“i know, but i like the song.” soonyoung laughs a bit. “it’s a song for _me_ , after all. and it reminds me of your feelings every time i listen to it. it makes me happy.”

“hm.”

“you’re not going to say anything about it?”

jihoon thinks for a moment. eh, to hell with it. it’s their graduation day. he can be a _little_ cheesy. “you’re right. my feelings.”

“…and?”

“my feelings are that i love you.”

he doesn’t object when soonyoung pulls him into a hug now. it’s warm. it’s the perfect fit for him. “yeah, i love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this one night after listening to hit song a couple of times.  
> i'm not good at writing summaries...OTL. i tried.  
> but anyway, i hope y'all liked it!


End file.
